A few days ago, a friend posted a question on Facebook that caught my eye and scared me a little at the same time. It turns out it wasn’t his question – it was one of those polling things that bounces around people’s feeds that are often innocuous and at worst a waste of time and brain space.

But this one was different. It didn’t ask whether I was a waffle or pancake guy. It didn’t ask me to “like” if I could identify what the thingy in the picture was. It wasn’t a call for titles of rockstar biopics using one of their songs. It wasn’t even an endorsement of pesto as the perfect condiment. (By the way, I got those from a three minute perusal of my Facebook feed just today.)

This particular survey asked if I thought one of the most powerful men on the planet was a racist.

Even stranger? It wasn’t a question that scared me as much as the answer it wanted. One was supposed to chose either a “yes” or a “no”.

My friend’s answer to the question was right there on my feed; and in the comments, there were many others who I love, admire and care for, weighing in with their opinions.

No – No – Yes – No – Yes – No – Yes – Yes – No – No – No – No – Yes – No – Yes

That’s neither the order nor the number of the answers. But just stop and ask yourself what was going on in your head as you read those binary votes…

It’s okay. I’ll wait…

For me, opinions formed as I scanned each one and looked at the profile picture next to it. By the time I scrolled to the bottom of the comments, people that I call friends had been neatly and efficiently divided into two camps.

It’s been better than three days now, and the more I think about it, the more chilling I find it. “Simple yes or no,” it asked. Quietly insistent. Devastatingly effective.

I’m not going to get into my own answer to the question here. Each is entitled to their informed opinion; and the “yes” or “no” is merely a hyperlink of sorts to the things they read, the news sources they consume and myriad other influences that got them to the one word answer. The rationale behind an answer you don’t agree with is best explored face to face over a meal or a coffee, in quiet tones and with a lot of eye contact.

In the end, the answer is beside the point and not the source of my disquiet.

I’ve realized that questions asking for binary answers to complex political and social problems are rarely helpful. Their effect – intended or unintended – is to divide us into two camps screaming at each other.

Our brains crave simplicity in the layers of crazy we find ourselves. There are whole television shows dedicated to bringing order out of chaos in our private spaces (I’m looking at you, Marie Kondo). Even in the realm of ideas, simple is often helpful.

Simplistic is not.

Gay or Straight, Pro-Choice or Pro-Life, Red or Blue, MAGA or Occupy. There are plenty of issues that raise our blood pressure (or our fear) and send us running toward whatever tribe with whom we identify – and often marginalize or demonize “the other” to somehow justify our deeply held and unassailable convictions.

C’mon. Admit it. We’ve all done it.

But I find, most of the time, that Jesus is in the tension between those entrenched opinions, lovingly beckoning us to be with him in that tension. And even if we end up no closer in our positions, we are changed, having experienced the humanity and perspective of a person who has changed from “the other” to “another”.

But what’s really scary is that there are political and cultural forces that really don’t want that to happen. They thrive on the chaos of opposition. From the manufactured drama of reality television to social media platforms that monetize our clicks, there are whole industries capitalizing on keeping us engaged, but divided.

I did a little poking around for the source of this hot button survey. I want to be careful about this as it originated from a Facebook profile; so there may be a real person behind it. I certainly wish no ill on the person, but let me simply share my observations:

• I’ve spoken with two friends who participated in the survey. Click on the “Answer Question” box on the post, your answer shows upon your feed. Try to delete it and it’s still out there.
• I personally keep the content on my feed accessible only to friends. I could see a whole lot on the survey originator’s profile when I visited it – even though there was no connection between us.
• There was a smattering of feel-good posts in a whole sea of left leaning political content.
• I couldn’t click the “Add Friend” button. It was grayed out. Weird.
• Clicked on the Friend List… there were none.
• Strangest thing? There was no mention of the poll in the two months of content I reviewed.

Take from the above what you will. Personally, it just doesn’t pass the smell test. I can’t help thinking that there’s something more behind it. Something wanting to keep us all off balance.

So instead of asking me to look into the mind and heart of a person I’ve never met and decide whether he or she is a racist, maybe there’s a better question to put out there. Or more specifically, ask of myself:

Have I entertained ideas, formed opinions, said words, or done things that could lead a reasonable and objective observer to deem they are driven by race?

Scarier: Have I benefited from economics, institutions or societal norms that have benefited one at the expense of another?

Do I have the courage to even consider that possibility?

I – a white male – am waking up to the reality that racism is one of the biggest existential threats to the fabric of our society. I have enjoyed privilege afforded by my skin color and gender in ways that I am only beginning to understand. I’m picking up small strings in my life and following them. It’s hard work that we all have to do.

I can choose to give into the fear and not be honest about that reality, or I can press into the tension of how I have been a contributor to it. And change.

Maybe, if I looked at my own life a little more than trying to divine the motivations and hearts of others, some of the mess in me (in more than just the domain at hand) could be redeemed. Maybe I could make fewer of those uninformed character calls about the folks I disagree with and see their humanity more than their politics.

Jesus calls us to die to ourselves. Every day. That’s not fun a lot of the time, but its long term effect is good. I need to let go of the need to be right all the time and slow down to hear and interact in honest discussion with people of differing viewpoints, but the same ultimate desire for the welfare of all. I also need to have the courage to gently challenge the human bias to marginalize others – in myself and those I’m in relationship with.

Or I can let forces that seek to divide us continue to stir the pot, sit back, and watch this marvelous country and its people destruct self-immolate.

The choice is mine. And ours.